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It was the day after we got married that I knew something was wrong.

It was the day after we got married that I knew something was wrong. I felt a thud and part of me knew. Rewind to a month before. The doctor and we’re yelling at each other in the exam room. I wanted tests. Something was wrong. He said I was an overly emotional pregnant woman nothing was wrong. Fast forward to the morning of my miscarriage. I called the doctor office two am. I was bleeding. Doctor on duty told me it was because I had sex. Nothing was wrong. I called at five am and seven am. Same story. I drove my daughter to preschool in extreme pain. Several hours later I picked her up hunched over in pain. I had an appointment at 3pm for ultrasound. By one I told my husband take me to the office now. Someone will see me. I told the woman at the desk that I needed to be seen. She said she would work me in. I told her blood is now running down my legs. She had someone take me to the restroom. They left me alone. My baby was delivered in the toilet. I screamed for help. Soon I had doctors and nurses standing around me. This was all to late. They made arrangements for the hospital. They left a young assistant with me. She offered to help me to a bed. I said the baby is still attached I can’t stand. Horrified she ran for a doctor who came and cut the cord. They then asked if my husband could drive me to the hospital. I told them my daughter was with him and how could I go out through the waiting room with no clothes. My water had broken so my clothes were wet and covered in blood. They sent me in the ambulance and handed me a package that contained my baby to give the hospital. My doctor then came to the hospital and talked me out of getting any tests. It was for my emotional health. No it was to shield him from lawsuits. That night because I had to stay for observation a doctor came in and cried at my bedside. I think she was the on call doctor who kept saying nothing was wrong. Doctor released me. Next day my husband took me for lunch. I almost passed out in the bathroom. I still had afterbirth. Fast forward to new doctor. She looked at my chart. She said they didn’t send my whole chart tests were missing. I said there were no tests. She said she would call. She came back and fell into the chair. She said tests are always run. They would have no way of knowing what to look for in future pregnancies. Women know their own bodies. Doctors should listen. I now have PTSD complete with flashbacks. And doctor idiot got to go on with his life. Eleven years later I am still having issues. Not all the time but coming up to the anniversary. April first is not funny at all. That’s the day that changed my life forever.

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