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In September 2019, I was pregnant.

In September 2019, I was pregnant. We weren’t really trying so it came to me as a very pleasant surprise. And then 7 weeks later, I started spotting which turned into heavy bleeding. I ended up in the ER and was told I was miscarrying. Few days later, I was emptied. It was heartbreaking. Then Covid-19 happened. In 2020, I lost my mom to COVID-19. I wasn’t allowed to visit her while she was sick, wasn’t allowed to see her body before she was cremated. That was a very tough moment for me. Then in June 2021, I learnt I was pregnant again. I was overjoyed and scared as well. I really thought this time it would work out and I would give birth to a small bundle of love. At the 12 weeks mark, I went for an ultrasound where I was told my baby had no heartbeat. It had stopped growing at the 9 weeks and 4 days mark. Counting from my ovulation period, that was about 1 week before my ultrasound. I am devastated. I feel it’s unfair. So many parents out there manage to have children but I feel I am the only one who can’t. I’m very sad. I wonder what did I do to deserve this suffering.

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