I miscarried my baby in 2001

Today, I am submitting my story about the time I miscarried my baby in 2001. It was going to be baby number four! I was so eager and happy for this beautiful unknown baby. My hubby and I were very surprised that we were going to have another baby. We had just bought a home together on meager finances and we actually believed we were done having children. My eagerness to have another baby spouted off some uneasy voices. People saying to me wow.....you're going to be a Super-mom. Like to me it meant more than you can handle. Another voice saying to me....oh no! That can't be.....well I guess your faith will carry you! I began to focus on how I would keep my baby kicking and happy and also be that terrific super mom for him or her. My other friend had so many babies and looked beautiful inside and out! I so wanted to be like her with this fourth little one! I love children and especially all three that I had and now the Lord was blessing me with number four!!! I had taken on the task of Homeschooling and the thought of having the same doctor who helped me deliver our second one and dedicate her to the Lord made me so happy! All blessed and dedicated right after delivery! Well early on in this pregnancy.... the ultrasound showed life plus each one thereafter showing the baby's foot and even more images and all looked terrific. Sadly around 8 weeks, I began bleeding some blood and then listened to some unwise counseling from the Doctor's associate that I could run all over the day fourteen hours if I like and that this baby could make it! But it did not turn out that way. Unfortunately this unwise counsel left me and my baby alone one day wondering what was happening. The first time I was bleeding it wasn't too bad.....then after his advice...it did not stop....it was at 17 weeks my baby's placenta came out first then I lay on my couch after calling 911....and then I was rushed by ambulance to the Hospital. It was very scary.. I waited in the ER too long and I was crying because I really believed this baby would be alright. The ambulance driver kept saying don't hold onto any miracle for this baby. I had watched on the news that they can even save 17 week old babies. So I had great hope and expectation. So very sadly, I found out after the xray that the baby's heartbeat was gone. Then I was rushed to the surgery room to have the baby removed. It was tragic and so upsetting. My husband just stood against the wall crying. The Doctor tried to console me, and my Pastor suggested that I ask to see my infant and acknowledge that he/she had passed. So then both my hubby and I were so saddened and we could not quite make out what gender this little one would be. We prayed together and after having memorial which was very private, we did not purchase a name plaque for the baby. So since I do remember the loss date I am attempting to find out the gender and have a more completed memorial. It was a miscarriage and my church family came with cards and flowers. I rushed passed this sorrow and Now I am scrap-booking the cards. Hopefully the Hospital can relay the gender so I can have my album completed. My heart has longed so often for this child, sometimes I cry for no reason. I know my baby is in Heaven and one day I will see their face. This news will help me have more closure and help me process my thinking & praying. Also to share with my family who passed away! Their beautiful sibling. Resting in the arms of the LORD!