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My husband and I had tried for months

My husband and I had tried for months to get pregnant. It was mid August, we had been searching for a house to live in. We stumbled upon one that my husband's former manager was renting. He had been transferred to a different store. By late August, we were moving in to our new home. About a week goes by, and I realized I hadn't gotten my period after 13 days. That evening, my husband brought home a test. We ate dinner, got ready for bed, and I mustered the courage to take the pregnancy test. I had been disappointed many times before, so I wasn't expecting anything. After waiting a minute, I peered over the bathroom sink and gasped. My husband in the bedroom heard me. I looked at him and said "Oh my god, we did it!" I immediately told my best friend about it, she had a little girl this past June. She was so happy for us! A week later, I told my other two close friends, a few trusted people at work, and my boss. They were all so happy. I made an appointment for myself, everything was going great. No morning sickness, no mood swings. This past Thursday, I was at work. I was going on vacation that weekend. It was a normal day, my usual routine. I moved a clothing rack, not realizing it was missing a wheel. It tipped toward me and hit me in the ribs. I started panicking. I ran to the bathroom and I started to bleed, heavily. I'm not sure if this was a coincidence, because it would've happened either way. I called my obgyn in hysterics. She told me to calm down, it could be a blood clot. She ordered lab work for me. After getting off the phone with her, I ran to my managers office and told him I had to go. He looked at me, confusion and concern on his face. "Okay, what's wrong?" "I'm bleeding" I squeaked. "Okay, go, go do you need someone to take you?" "No, I'll be fine". I raced home, my husband waiting for me outside. We drove an hour to get there, only to find out the lab is closed due to a power outage. I called the obgyn again and she instructed me to come back the following morning. So, that's what we did. I had my blood drawn, waited for hours for the lab to call me with my results. I finally broke down, and called them. The receptionist connected me with a nurse who told me I have a positive blood type, and my hormone levels are above 3000 which meant I could get an ultrasound! I had hope. The very next day, my brother-in-law's birthday party. We spent the day with family, laughing, enjoying the day. My little nephew, who is seven months old now, was carelessly rolling around on his blanket, chewing on everything he could get his little hands on. I did my best to hide my discomfort and worry from everyone. When we arrived home, I was still bleeding heavily. My cramps were getting worse. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. A couple hours later, I ran downstairs and sat on the toilet for awhile. Nothing was happening, so I took a shower. My cramps got more intense, I felt nauseous. I plopped down on the toilet again and started crying, at this point, my husband comes in. He just held me while I sat, waiting for something to give. After about ten minutes, I felt it. A grape sized mass, drop into the toilet. I knew what just happened. I started crying uncontrollably. My baby was gone. I failed. I felt such guilt and anger. Why me?! I thought. I looked at my baby, that only made things worse. All I could do was sit on the bed and cry. My husband did his best to comfort me. This was my first pregnancy. I was 8 weeks. I can't even describe how I feel. I'm empty. I have my ultrasound appointment this coming Monday. I'll have to call my obgyn and tell them what happened. I'm afraid of what they will say. I have to be brave. My family didn't know, I was waiting until I was farther along. Now, I'll have to tell them I lost the baby. I'm not sure if there's ever a good time for that. Wish me luck.

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