March 9, 2018 I had a feeling was a little off
March 9, 2018 I had a feeling was a little off, a lady did not hold the door open for me for a normal person thats no biggie, right? Well me not knowing all whats wrong with myself I about cried and looked at my boyfriend and said " either I'm pregnant or I'm just crazy! ". March 10, 2018 I was at work and decided to just take a pregnancy test. First one came back positive, thinking it was a fake positive I take another one sure enough i was pregnant. I called my boy friend to come to my work i had something for him, I put both my pregnancy test into a gum package and gave it to him once he opened it we both start crying because of how excited we were! a couple of weeks later we have our first OB appt, I had my ultrasound and there she was ( I thought i was having a girl ) her little heart just fluttering fast and you could see her move! happiest moment of my life. I started to become a little worried since I kept cramping through my pregnancy I would ask other moms if they had the same feelings and they told me everything is normal its all stretching, and I believed them! two days before my next appt with my OB i started bleeding scared, nervous, anxious every emotion you can think of I felt it! I just wanted to know if MY baby was ok. Once at the hospital ( not the one my doctor works for ) all they did was take blood, do a urine sample and thats all, doctor came into the room and said " yup you're right! you're pregnant, now since your only 11weeks we do not count that as a baby " I said but she has a heart beat?? how do you not consider her a baby ?" he said " because you're not 12 weeks your not important to us nor is that a baby ". Sad and broken I go home, Monday morning rolls around we get ready and head there. I see my doctor in the hallway she asked how I was feeling and all I told her " we have a concern " she said " go get undressed and lets see whats going on!" she started the ultrasound she then confirms i did have a miscarriage, not only did I have one, but she was still there attached to my uterus you could see her on the screen. my whole world came to a complete stop! I was very blessed to have my sister, and my boyfriend in the room with me as she told me because I wouldn't be able to do it alone. The next days come and i have to go for my D&C surgery, one thing I can say about my doctors office and the hospital she works for is amazing they buried my little one for free and I can go visit at anytime. We all lost, we all cry, we all wish and think everyday that we could have done more, but we couldn't we loved our little ones more than anything.