Miscarriage can represent significant loss(es) in a person’s life.
Identifying and acknowledging these losses is an important step toward healing. On the other hand, minimizing or denying them and the grief they produce will not only impede the healing process, but it may also lead to unhealthy behaviors.
Unhealthy behaviors that may have been present before the miscarriage are likely to be continued or accelerated after the miscarriage.
Unhealthy behaviors may start as protective measures to either cope with or mask painful emotions, or to deny grief and loss. If the behaviors are repeatedly used, they may begin to take on a compulsive life of their own with seemingly no connection to the miscarriage.
Unhealthy behaviors may be a daily occurrence, or they may occur periodically. Sometimes unhealthy behaviors are triggered by certain events, such as the anniversary of the miscarriage or the expected due date of the child.
Whether or not you think these behaviors are related to the miscarriage, extra assistance such as a 12-step program or group, spiritual assistance, or professional counseling is needed to regain your well-being. Unhealthy behaviors are listed below with accompanying resource information.
The information listed below is intended to help with specific unhealthy behaviors, and it may not be able to address your concerns and needs related to the miscarriage.
If you feel at any time that your reactions and emotions are not being validated and addressed appropriately by a resource—do not give up.
You may wish to contact specific miscarriage resources listed on the Find Help page. These include remembrance services, support groups, medical concerns, and special information for family members and friends.
Signs of Complicated Grief
- Dulled sense of feeling
- Fear or avoidance of children
- Fixating on another child
- Difficulty sleeping
- Difficulty concentrating
- Inability to recall parts of the event
If you’ve experienced any of these symptoms for more than a month, you may be developing impacted grief, or complicated grief, or some other psychological complication. This typically feels like you’re “stuck” in your grief and unable to move forward in your life. To rule out these possibilities, consultation with a trained counselor is recommended. You may wish to contact your primary care physician for a referral.
While it’s important not to impose an expected time frame for healing, you also don’t want to allow yourself to remain stuck for too long, which could make it that much harder to move through the grieving process.